This is a video Rusty showed last night at Refuge. I've watched it about 4 times since then. I had to take a second after almost every sentence and think about what he was saying. I took notes, actually. Can you tell I was home schooled? Anyway, here are some of the things that he talked about that really stuck out to me:
"Are we scared of the bigness of God?"
"There 8,000,000 people who could have been born instead of you."
"Are you going to be ungrateful?.. What are you gonna complain about?"
"Are you gonna sit around and mope because your life didn't go how you would have liked it to have gone? Because that person betrayed you? Because you betrayed that person?"
I can't skip past the last one. This one has hunted me down and not left me alone for a few weeks now. If there is one thing that I hate the most in my walk with Christ is being obedient. I hate it. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I have a serious problem with someone telling me what to do. I hate it when I know that I need to do something but it goes 100% against my human nature. Lately the Holy Spirit has been hammering into me the concept of forgiveness.
Let me just get side tracked here for a second. I grew up in a church that never defined the Holy Spirit, or really talked about it for that matter.I only just started getting a grasp of what the Holy Spirit was since I started being discipled by a woman at my new(ish) church. I think that the Holy Spirit is the Lord's advocate. It's the "pusher", if you will. The Holy Spirit is the thing that pesters you till no end and makes things as uncomfortable for you as possible. It does this to a certain extent, until you either decide to be obedient and do what God is telling you, or you push it aside and harden your heart.
I think that the church I went to mainly didn't talk about it because, through no fault of its own, the church consisted of mainly older people who don't necessarily have to live by the spirit anymore. My experience with older people when they saw younger people moving with the spirit was always, "Oh, why would they ever think God was 'calling' them to do that? God would never call them to do something radical like that." And to that I would ask, "Well what about Noah?" "That was in a different time period- when God actually spoke to people. That kind of thing doesn't really happen now-a-days" (BTW, I'm not at all referring solely to my old congregation)
WHAT?! So you're telling me that God doesn't call people to do radical things, but we stand and preach about how we need to make radical changes in our lives and culture? Big changes call for big actions, people.
Sorry, don't really know how I got there. Anyway, back to the Holy Spirit. As I said earlier, I have been struggling with forgiveness. The Holy Spirit has been pointing it out at every chance it gets. Every conversation, every tv show, every sermon, every discipleship meeting. Everywhere.
"Okay, okay, I get it! I need to forgive!"
But do I really get it? What are the steps I am going to take? Right now. What are the steps I need to take right now?
Okay, God. You win. Like always. Let's give this Forgiveness thing an honest try.